


FFXIV Write 2020

by Kaerran



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen, Microfic, Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Not tagging other characters because this is a microfic collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 7,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26346010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaerran/pseuds/Kaerran
Summary: A series of microfics written about my WoL for xivwrite2020, instead of writing my IX fanfic. spoiler warnings in notes for each chapter
Kudos: 1





	1. #1: Crux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers for 4.0 and late 5.0 i guess

If Qahs'a were to consider when he started disliking being The Warrior Of Light, it'd probably be tied either to Zenos and his obsession or G'raha calling the Scions away. 

Really, it boiled down to the same reason: people made it clear they thought he  _ mattered _ more than everyone else.

And really, he had no idea how to bring it up to G'raha, that his time shifted self had sounded a little too close to Zenos about that.


	2. #2: Sway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers generally for 5.0

Qahs'a was tired of light. 

Oh no, not entirely in the Light fashion, in the good old Keeper 'having to become diurnal to keep up with friends and then moving to a planet with  _ no night at all _ ' way. Of course, he kept bringing the night back, and then immediately leaving the area for the next one. 

His head hurts  _ all the time _ . Yes the everlasting light is gone now, but having it channelled  _ through _ him certainly didn't help matters. It was the main thing keeping him from sleeping even after managing not to become a Lightwarden. 

Some days, he just wants to sleep, but the threat of the Light still behind his eyelids keeps his eyes open long after lying down to rest.


	3. #3: Muster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accidental continuation of the previous. now spoilers for 5.2 and 5.3 as well

Sometimes Alisaie would tease him about the circles under his eyes, but now that G'raha was a Scion, that usually led to him joking about the circles under  _ his _ eyes, and Alisaie complaining that G'raha knew she didn't mean the Miqo'te eye markings and...

Actually, it was nice to have them joking around again. Most of the levity had gone away after the avalanche of turning-fracturing-Ascian disasters, beyond odd moments like Urianger's failed water walking. Which, in retrospect, wasn't that funny at all. 

Still, it was apparently noticeable enough that even Thancred was giving him looks, so Qahs'a was just going to have to either figure out how to sleep properly again or... get better at hiding it.


	4. #4: Clinch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers for uhhh 60 fishing and also 4.0 ending

There were occasions where Qahs'a occasionally regretted his interest in doing whatever people suggested. Like today.

In other circumstances, to other people, it might have been relaxing. A beautiful day, no one around but the waves in the sea and the shiranui gliding over the sand, just him and a fishing rod, and a sea full of plesiosaurs.

Qahs'a hated it.

There was too much sitting and Waiting, and not enough to be distracting from his own thoughts. Sure, he needed to pay attention enough to feel the tug on the line, but that wasn't _nearly_ enough to keep him from _thinking_ . Right now, he was trying to keep from remembering Shinryu towering over Ala Mhigo, the way that Zenos had spoken as if he'd known anything about Qahs'a, and wondering if that's _really_ what other people saw when they looked at him--

The line tugged gently

  
Qahs'a scowled, and yanked the line from the sea. He scowled at the shrimp dangling from the hook _yet again_ , and huffed in impatience. Clearly, he'd picked a bad spot, if all he could catch were _shrimp_ . Maybe he'd see if Ansaulme and Reyna were having more luck, rather than waste more time _here_.


	5. #5: Matter of Fact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> implied spoilers for 5.3, but not specifically, also 5.21 sorta kinda ish esque how do firmament spoilers work

"Qahs'a! Where  _ are _ you?"

Qahs'a peeked over the edge of the roof to see a white braid storm by. He pondered his options, aimed carefully, and tossed his hammer off. 

The hammer landed perfectly, right in front of Alisaie. She stopped abruptly enough she nearly faceplanted onto it, and swirled to stare up at him. He waved his fingers at her.

"I didn't think you were  _ actually _ building  _ houses _ ," she complained, as she walked back towards the house he was on. "It sounds like the kind of thing people make up."

The slightly elderly man who owned the house laughed. "Oh, he helped build the entire district!", he said cheerfully. "Shoulda seen him! Even helped out the orphanage kids with their errands after he finished up this part. The bigwigs are hopin' he'll stick around long enough to help with the next bit."

Qahs'a frowned at the hammer that Alisaie had left, and carefully peered down at where she was now listening, totally entranced by the, slightly exaggerated, tales of the building of the New Nest. He waved carefully, but neither elezen seemed to notice.

"...and then I saw him here today, and thought I'd ask him t' check on a leak in the roof, and he just jumped on up there!" The man waved his arms as if to demonstrate this, although Qahs'a didn't really think this translated very well at all. "I wasn't expectin' it, thought I'd have to go find a ladder an' all."

Qahs'a sighed to himself and settled in to wait until either thought to look upwards again. He could be patient.


	6. #6: [Extra Credit / Make-up Day] 2019 Prompt #7: Forgiven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set in the 79-80 portion of 5.0

Qahs'a closed his eyes and tried to stop thinking for a little while. He hadn't been able to really  _ sleep _ since facing Vauthry, and everything that came with, but he knew just as well as the other Scions that not even  _ trying _ to rest would probably just spur him to turn faster.

At least he felt he had an excuse this time. The Ondo Cups were damp, and he kept imagining he could hear drips from somewhere. Every time he opened his eyes, the others were just as restless as him.

It was actually comforting to hear them shifting regularly. Qahs'a had never functioned well on his own since, well, Ul'dah, but Urianger had noticed he'd had more problems with the Light when he was trying to avoid them, or even feeling lonely, it seemed. Qahs'a couldn't argue, which is why, even though he was  _ supposed _ to be resting, both Alphinaud and Alisaie were leaning against him. At least they seemed to be actually sleeping, unlike Thancred, who seemed to be turning over once every minute, or Y'shtola, who was sitting up and not even trying to sleep at all.

Qahs'a's eyes drifted open again, and he found himself staring at the wide open space directly overhead. He found himself wondering how long Bismarck's breath would keep the ocean back, and whether they'd manage to find Emet-Selch in time--

  
The Light stirred within him and he flinched. By the time he managed to have control over himself again, Y'shtola was staring at him worriedly. All he could really do was rub his eyes and give her a little wave. They all knew that he didn't have long, but as long as he wasn't turning  _ right now _ , it was fine. He was fine. What else could they do but wait?


	7. #7: Nonagenarian

Once, Qahs'a thought the oldest person he'd ever met was an old lady who came to ask his mother for healing when he was about six. Her hair was white, and even her daughter's hair was starting to go gray as well, but he never learned her actual age. 

Then he'd met Thordan, and assumed  _ he _ was the oldest person he'd ever met. Surely someone that decrepit looking was positively  _ ancient _ .

Except Aymeric wasn't that old, so maybe the old Keeper was older, in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one sentence fic that was my first reaction to prompt, but doesn't really count: Qahs'a didn't think he _knew_ anyone that old.


	8. #8: Clamor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess technically spoilers for uhhhh like 3.2 or so and 4.0

There was a time when Qahs'a hadn't even _dreamed_ of standing in the same room as the leaders of half the planet. Now he greatly preferred them, because at least they didn't blatantly put him on a pedestal like most of the smallfolk he met.

Sure, doing the smallfolk tiny favours that just completely enriched their lives was the most _fulfilling_ thing he did, in some ways even more than saving the world, because he got to see how much he helped directly. Yes, if the First had fallen, everyone he'd met there would've died but that was still... abstract.

But he couldn't really do little things like that for Raubahn or Aymeric anymore. Their worlds encompased entire cities, and rescuing a family member or harvesting crops wouldn't do much anymore. Of course, Raubahn and Aymeric were particularly poor examples, since he had done the impossible for Raubahn, and he had a feeling Aymeric _did_ put him on a pedestal, but at least Aymeric didn't make it obvious the way so many others did.

No, his problem was with the _blatant_ adoration. The way that everyone on the First trusted him implicitly on everything they could imagine just for being The Warrior Of Darkness. He, rather ashamedly, almost wished he could go back to when he'd first arrived and _no one knew him_ just because it was so much more bearable. 

He was so _tired_ of fame.


	9. #9: Lush

The first time Qahs'a left the Twelveswood, he ended up on Vylbrand, and it was utterly fascinating. Some areas, like Halfstone, still bore the scars of the Calamity, but so did much of the woods he'd grown up in.

No, what he found fascinating was the abundance of farms and orchards, windmills and livestock... and _no oversight_. No elementals breathing down necks over supposed misuse, or Wood Wailers looking at you and declaring you a poacher just for existing...

For all that the Twelveswood is full of life, Qahs'a felt that Vylbrand feels less... false. Perhaps it was the way he was raised, but being in La Noscea, in these lands that weren't controlled by beings who never cared about the lives dependent on the woods, he felt more at ease than he ever did in Gridania.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly today I am so sleep deprived I can't tell if this is sensical. I screwed up the tense so many times I can't tell if I fixed them all or not. Apologies.


	10. #10: Avail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers for 5.21 and set in 5.31 but how do you even tag firmament things honestly

With the Scions finally safely home, and no real news of Zenos or Garlemald, Qahs'a manages not to feel too guilty about essentially moving out of the Rising Stones back to Fortemps Manor. He _is_ a little worried about how Edmont will take it, but Edmont seems quite pleased to see Qahs'a regularly again. 

Well... semi-regularly, since Qahs'a is spending almost all his time in the Firmament. 

He's not _particularly_ fond of the Diadem, or the new heat waves sweeping through, but, hey, for once the monsters _don't_ want to kill him, and the augur is still utterly ridiculous, which at least makes gathering materials for the rebuilding easier. 

He also wasn't really expecting a commercial district, but he's definitely not a planner, so he's going along with it. Up close, Featherfall almost feels more of a mess than the New Nest, since the New Nest bordered on the outer wall, and Featherfall just leads more inward, and faces more ruined walls besides. For now, though, all he can really contribute is materials and crafts, and checking in on the houses he'd helped build before. They mostly don't need any help, but he loves to see how much more cheerful everyone is than the Brume he'd originally walked into, and it always seems like seeing him brightens their day even more. He's even been shown the nascent gardens in several yards, some growing better than others, but no one allows him to help with those. He's fine with this. They're proud of what _they're_ building, and he doesn't need to contribute to that.


	11. #11: Ultracrepidarian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to complain, neither me nor my dad knew the definition and my dad PRIDES himself on knowing obscure words.  
> Also it's surprisingly hard to stick to the writing regime AND spam Ishgard Restoration.  
> spoilers for 5.0 and 5.3

Qahs'a had to admit his life had gotten _weird_ when, because of a normal Scion thing that just happened to necessitate the Ironworks help, he walked into an argument about Allagan technology between Nero and G'raha. 

Being a bit.... less than an expert on Allag, Qahs'a could not really follow said argument, but as far as he could tell, Nero was trying to claim that of course he knew he was talking about, he'd reverse-engineered _plenty_ of Allagan technology, while G'raha seemed to be pointing out that no matter how much Nero had personally done, it couldn't really measure up to his inherited control of the Crystal Tower in addition to the culmination of all the the work the alternate Ironworks had done.

Unfortunately for him, that's approximately where Nero noticed him, and immediately tried to convince Qahs'a to tell G'raha why he was the _actual_ expert.

Qahs'a stared at the Garlean for a minute before sighing and shrugging. Instead of doing as requested, he locked eyes with G'raha and then mimed a mask.

G'raha stared back at him. "What does _he_ have to do with anything?" he said, rather grumpily. 

Qahs'a mimed a crown on his head.

"Being emperor doesn't really matt--what did you mean then?" he says when Qahs'a shakes his head.

"Emperor of what?" says Nero.

"Oh, there was an Ascian on the First, he was also Solus."

While Nero spluttered over this particular fact, Qahs'a nodded and then pointed at a random node lying nearby.

G'raha frowned. "Garlemald isn't Allag--wait, he was also emperor of _Allag_?"

Qahs'a nodded emphatically, delighted he'd managed to get that across. He then held up one finger.

"Solus zos Galvus was _Emperor Xande_?" Nero said in a high-pitched voice.

Cid leaned into the room. "Whatever ridiculous rumours you all are making up can wait until we've finished up here," he said, as if this was Nero's fault.

Qahs'a sighed. Being the bearer of ridiculous historical news always ended up poorly for him.


	12. #12: Tooth and Nail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a fight scene but it'll have to wait until after the ishgard and yokai grinds. only one more weapon to go on qahs'a.... and then zana...... ugh. at least I'm still on beatus on bsm/ltw  
> spoilers for 4.4 trials, 5.21 firmament quests and 5.0/5.3 generally

There were some unexpected side-effects from working on the New Nest. Qahs'a wasn't surprised, just disappointed, to see that there were still plenty of people who were prejudiced against dragons and heretics alike, but Ehll Tou and Marcelloix had not _just_ been useful for starting to break down the barriers between the Ishgardians and the Dravanians.

No, Qahs'a had been quite derailed for a few minutes by Ardbert being utterly baffled by the existence of the two.

Although the First had deepgliders, Qahs'a had not consciously noticed the lack of dragons until Ardbert had pointed it out. Instead, after he'd helped Marcelloix settle into his new home, he'd taken a long detour to Anyx Trine to introduce Ardbert to the concept of dragons, and found himself missing Midgardsormr while doing so. It surprised him, as he'd disliked having the intrusive presence of the dragon nearly up until Omega had appeared on the scene, and, while he owed the Father of All Dragons a great deal for saving him from Omega, he hadn't really realized what he'd been missing until, well... he was sharing his mind with yet another person. He would've liked to know how the two would've reacted to each other.


	13. #13: Extra Credit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WAS going to write introspection about the vault to match last year's #5, and then my partner said "the cruelest thing to do to G’raha would not be killing _him_, but WoL" and now I have a bad au in my head. so I am writing it down in the hopes that it goes away.  
> CW: character death, both canon and oc, spoilers for 5.0

The light bleeds from the area, leaving afterimages of Alphinaud's companions seared onto his eyes until a streak of Light shatters the darkness. 

Rather, an axe of Light. Alphinaud, rather distractedly, finds himself wondering why an axe, when Qahs'a has never really used them before.

Light bleeds away again, as the Light and Darkness war, until the Light is teetering on the edge of being snuffed out again... and it manages to resurge and push back, and back and back, until the Darkness is broken in a blinding flash.

When Alphinaud's eyes clear, Emet-Selch stands before them, one clawed glove hovering over the hole the Light has rent through his very being, and Qahs'a is gone.

Alphinaud stares numbly at the Ascian while Alisaie starts frantically searching the area. It lets him see Emet-Selch also look around, and catch the split second of pure heartbreak that crosses his face, before he pushes it away again and stares directly at the Scions.

"Remember us," Emet-Selch says, and Alphinaud cannot tell if the grief he hears is Emet-Selch's or his own projection. "Remember that we once lived."

Alphinaud nods hesistantly.

Emet-Selch relaxes, just a touch, and then closes his eyes and bows his head, before fading away completely.

Alisaie makes a frustrated noise, and takes a step forward.

"Alisaie," Alphinaud manages to say. She turns to glare at him, and he only manages to add, "He's..." before his voice fails him completely.

Alisaie knows him too well, though, and she snaps, "Qahs'a _can't_ be gone. We... We were all..."

Ryne sobs, just barely audible, and Thancred squeezes her shoulders a little tighter. "Alisaie, i'm sorry, but... he has to be."

"He shaped the Light into a blade, as he did before," Y'shtola says quietly. "Yet his own aether was so Light-aspected, 'tis no wonder it was drawn into the attack." 

"Or it was deliberate," says Thancred. "The Light was failing, and it might've been his last effort."

"Much like Moenbryda," Urianger says dully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this piece is unfinished, sorry about that. the exarch doesn't even appear oops


	14. #14: Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was going to write about scions poking him about his hair and then i remembered the only scion who has sane hair is tataru. alisaie and alphinaud's bangs are so much worse than qahs'a's.  
> more firmament stuff

Although Qahs'a spends most of his time gathering or constructing materials for the Firmament--and he's really unsure what they're doing with _all_ those ovens--he also spends time helping with the grunt work. Most of the time he ends up helping with the debris, breaking it up, cleaning, what have you, but rarely he ends up on the scaffolds.

Some of the scaffolds are normal, just being used to add height to rebuild damaged steps, but the ones over the broken pathways are unnerving even to Qahs'a. Even with dragoon training, and no fear of heights, it is still disorienting to stand on a few planks of wood stretching over the Sea of Clouds, a drop of malms with no ending beyond the stormy aether that threatens to rip all apart.

Really, he was only allowed on those scaffolds once. He doesn't _remember_ doing anything strange... but then he doesn't remember much about them at all.


	15. #15: Ache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers for 4.0 and 5.0 i guess

Sometimes Qahs'a wonders what drives the Echo's strange healing ability. On one hand, he has survived things that probably should have killed him any amount of times, but on the other, it seems entirely random about what scars and what doesn't. He has scars from bandits and Zenos, and yet no scars from Ifrit's fire or Garlean magitek. It can't be just amount of damage, Gaius left no marks with his blade, and Zenos did. The Light, most damaging of all, didn't do any outward damage, and yet he is still marked by it. It confuses him.


	16. #16: Lucubration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to protest again, I'm unnerved cuz this was DEFINITELY picked to fake people out... I'll have to rewrite this completely from scratch another time because i'm not happy with it but I really want to visit this concept  
> spoilers for uhhhh omega trials i wasn't expecting that at all, but like, not referenced at all so this conversation does not take place like this at all in canon

Qahs'a had mostly tuned out Nero's long rant about fairy tales and childhood stories, so when Nero suddenly said, "I'm sure Qahs'a agrees with me," he was completely taken off guard.

Cid huffed. "He wasn't even listening," he said, stifling a grin.

Nero ignored him. "I was trying to explain to my _learned_ compatriot that not all of us grew up with engineering manuals and instead had to contend with folklore to entertain us."

"I never said--" Cid complained.

"I may not know much about Miqo'te," Nero said, ignoring Cid's protests, "but you look the sort to have as humble an upbringing as myself."

Qahs'a frowned, then slowly nodded, although he wasn't entirely certain what Nero meant. He was pretty sure it was just easier to agree with him instead of pick arguments though.

Nero gave Cid one of his razor grins of triumph. 

Cid wasn't finished yet. "Fictional stories are a completely different thing, unless you're telling me you had a favourite _bedtime story_."

Nero sniffed. "I may have, but it wasn't out of a book. Books weren't even that common in my village."

"That could just be your village," Cid argued.

Qahs'a was aware of their eyes again, and he looked away before shaking his head.

Nero made a triumphant noise but Cid scoffed. "What, did you have no books?"

Qahs'a nodded meekly.

There was a long pause.

"You can, at least, read, can't you?" Nero said faintly.

Qahs'a nodded, much more emphatically this time. He didn't want them to think he was dumb, he just.... wasn't as learned as them.

"Nero, that's unfair, of course he can read, he's a _Scion_ ," Cid finally said.

Qahs'a just hoped they'd drop the subject instead of asking about writing.


	17. #17: Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [spoilers for ast quests, mostly early 60s]

In some ways, Qahs'a made an awful astrologian. He hated the concept of fate or predestination, and he was suspicious of the coincidences that led to him unlocking the gates so fast, until Kyokuho showed up and blitzed through them in no time flat. After that, he just had to assume Leveva was exaggerating the rarity of each gate, especially since the various stars were visible most nights.

Instead, he took what he'd learned from Leveva and used it in a way she almost certainly would hate: to stare at the stars and enjoy their beauty. Although a Keeper, the Twelveswood had not lent itself to stargazing, with the leaves blocking out most of the stars, and while the Calamity had broken it, he'd still not had any names for them. 

Sometimes he would sit up all night, in any high place, and watch until Menphina set and the stars faded into the purple of dawn, and not think about anything at all except the beauty of the sky.


	18. #18: Panglossian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I googled the definition I got a picture of a trump rally, which is like the opposite of conducive to writing so have something tangentially related. Qahs'a is basically the opposite cough so the only person i could think of was ARR Alphinaud, and i don't really have anything to write about him, so instead something that happened to me in game today  
> spoilers for... squadrons?? is this even something to warn for who knows

"Sir, you have new recruits to review," said the serpent squadron sergeant.

Qahs'a frowned, then sighed and gestured to the man to lead on. He wasn't really sure why they kept sending him recruits, since he had mostly given up lead of the squad, and they weren't actually permanently tied to the Adders as it was.

The sergeant left Qahs'a to confer with his squad about their latest mission, which mostly involved Kehda'to Moui complaining about how missions always went easier with their commander, and Qahs'a making sympathetic faces until the door opened again.

The first recruit that the sergeant led in was, surprisingly, a brown-haired Keeper. He saluted Qahs'a jerkily, and then stood to attention. "Ziuz'a Jakkya, sir!"

Qahs'a blinked in surprise until the sergeant sniffed and said, "Well, tell the captain more." Without waiting for Ziuz'a, he continued, "The, ah, recruit, insisted on being interviewed by you _personally_." 

Ziuz'a nodded. "I, uh, have several talents that I thought you might understand best," he said and rested a hand on the hilt of a dagger at his belt. "I had also heard that uh..." Ziuz'a flicked an ear at the sergeant, which the sergeant didn't notice.

Qahs'a understood all too well what he meant. Keepers already had to deal with Gridanian prejudice, Keeper _males_ had to deal with Gridanian prejudice and the prejudices of Keeper women as well. That, coupled with how few they were, meant that four being in the same room was almost surreal to Qahs'a, who'd grown up with only one other boy nearby.

"Oh, yeah, I remember you," Kehda'to suddenly said. "I said I thought you'd fit in here."

' _Of course he'd fit in_ ,' Qahs'a thought to himself. ' _Having a commander that didn't automatically assume any of them were ever poachers would be amazing_.'

He started to shuffle papers. He wanted to give Ziuz'a a spot, but he was limited to eight members, and the squad had learned to work well together. He couldn't really _justify_ sending one away for an unknown rogue.

Luckily, his squad realized his dilemma for him. Kelmomo sighed. "Another boy?"

"Well _I'm_ enjoying the view," said Cilla, in a tone that suggested she was winking inside her all-encompassing cowl.

To Qahs'a's surprise, Hastaloeya nodded decisively and stood. "Cap'n, if you wouldn't mind, if you're gonna cut anyone loose, I'll volunteer. I've been here since the start, but I'd like to stretch my legs for a bit."

Qahs'a, surprised again, nodded.

Hastaloeya grinned, resettled his shield, and strode out the door.

Gota'a Panipahr smiled at Ziuz'a. "Welcome to the team," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Except I didn't actually pick him up ahaha I like having one of each race too much, but Qahs'a would be happy to be a boycat refuge. My squad is: Hastaloeya [sea wolf GLA], Kelmomo [plainsfolk MRD and unique outfit, she's got a dress and flowers in hair/on wrist], Elchi [xaela LNC], Rivienne [CNJ, she MIGHT be a duskwight], Cilla [highlander ACN, also unique outfit, she's in owlsight], Gota'a Panipahr [keeper THM], Kehda'to Moui [keeper ARC and my third unique outfit], and D'fhul Tia [seeker CNJ]. I've also seen the girl in the light steel MANY times, the reindeer lady once and the snowman lala once


	19. #19: Where the Heart is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> true story here, this is what I did before checking my quest log lol  
> spoilers for 4.5

Qahs'a was aware he'd screwed up somehow when Aymeric paused and gave him a concerned look instead of leaving. Qahs'a wasn't sure _what_ he'd done though. Well, he wasn't really sure what Aymeric had meant by "home", but surely that wasn't cause for alarm...

When they let him get up and leave, he pondered for a bit before heading to the place he thought fit best.

Many of the knights were pleased to see him and several of the servants fussed over how he looked, but he slowly came to realize that, whatever Aymeric had meant, it was not Fortemps Manor.When he thought about it, he wasn't even sure why he'd hoped. He wasn't sure Fortemps Manor had been _Haurchefant's _home ever, so why would it be his? He didn't even really fit in here.__

__Still... He'd hoped. He wished...._ _


	20. #20: (You pick!) / 2019 #4: Shifting Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was GOING to skip today, then went to bed and started typing. sigh  
> spoilers for 3.0, 3.3, and uh drg 30

Qahs'a had been asked to attend the day's session by Aymeric, who was too busy to explain beyond, "I believe your presence would be helpful." 

He sat for a while, not really listening to the proceedings, until he startled to awareness when someone said, "Lord Aymeric, as the Azure Dragoon, why have you not resumed the recruitment of new dragoons to resupply their numbers?" 

Aymeric crossed his arms. "Legally speaking," he said, "I am not a dragoon, and am in no way qualified to be named the Azure Dragoon." Qahs'a felt dread build as Aymeric continued, "In fact, I have been informed that the only legal qualification for attaining the office is being recognized by the Eye of Nidhogg, which is no longer possible. Since the resignation of the last Azure Dragoon, there is only one possible candidate for the office." He turned to Qahs'a, who felt himself blanch. Aymeric wasn't _serious_ , was he? 

It took a minute or two for the assembly to understand Aymeric 's implication, but as murmurs filled the room, Qahs'a was fairly sure that they understood what Aymeric meant. Finally Aymeric continued, "While, legally speaking, Qahs'a is the current Azure Dragoon, we can all understand why we cannot ask him to take up the role. The Temple Knights have been discussing the future of the dragoons, but at this time, no decisions have been made as to their future." 

A different elezen stood. "Is there a reason why he cannot take up his duties?"

Aymeric frowned. "I think it would be inappropriate for Ishgard to ask the Warrior of Light to drop his many current obligations to all of Eorzea in order to take command of a corps that we may not even need any more," he said carefully. 

Qahs'a coughed lightly, and then drew his Serpent Captain insignia out of his bag. 

Aymeric didn't miss a beat. "It would also end up being a provocation to the Eorzean Alliance if we forced Qahs'a to resign from his current Grand Company for the needs of an, admittedly prestigious, but still depleted force." 

"How do we know the Eye chose him?" sometime else said. 

"Both currently living former Azure Dragoons confirmed the Eye choosing Qahs'a," Aymeric said, "although neither were able to explain why. Ser Alberic also indicated no one truly knows the reasoning behind the Eye 's choices, and with its destruction, we cannot replicate it in any form."

The assembly then began to debate the continued existence of the dragoons, and Qahs'a slowly began to relax again. 

Much later, Qahs'a finally stumbled out at a break. When Aymeric followed, Qahs'a glared at him, albeit a bit more woefully than he would have liked. 

"Apologies, Qahs'a, I should have given you a better warning," Aymeric said. "I had heard someone was going to nominate me to be officially known by the title that is rightfully yours, and 'twas the easiest way to eliminate the line of thought." 

Qahs'a sighed. He wasn't sure he liked everyone knowing about the whole eye thing, but he couldn't exactly stop it _now_.

"Besides," Aymeric mused, "we are slightly lucky that no one pointed out that, as a ward or Fortemps, you're legally Ishgardian enough for the title and therefore have an obligation to ask you to resign." 

Qahs'a scowled. He wasn't a very good captain, but he doesn't want to be shoved into some role he wouldn't have the faintest idea how to act in as well as apparently being in charge of recruitment. 

Aymeric patted Qahs'a 's shoulder sympathetically. "I would suggest not returning when we reconvene, in case someone _does_ make the request. You are much too busy to be tied to Ishgard now as it is." 

Qahs'a nodded. He didn't want to topple an empire but, well, someone had to...


	21. #21: Foibles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is silly  
> spoilers for like mid 5.0

While Qahs'a was visiting Lydha Lran for Tyr Beq, a group of pixies flew up to him. He paused, and settled in to wait until they decided to tell him what they wanted. He hoped they wouldn't take too long, since the rain was starting to soak through his coat.

"All right, Warrior of Darkness," one finally said. "You've had your fun. It's time to put the sky back now."

Qahs'a was baffled. Put the sky _back_? These pixies wanted the _Everlasting Light_ back? _Why?_

A second pixie sneezed.

"This rain was really interesting the first few times but now it's just _tedious_ ," said the third. 

"And it's just too dark at night!" said the first. "I can't see the pretty flowers at _all_!"

"And sometimes it's cloudy and everything is so grey and _boring_ ," whined the second pixie.

Qahs'a stared more, and finally just shook his head.

"Ugh!" snapped the third pixie. "I told you we should've made the king make him do it instead of asking!"

"They _like_ the weather," the second pixie said. "And you just _know_ they'd get mad if we suggested their branch should fix things."

All three pixies shuddered.

The first pixie shook their finger at Qahs'a. " _Next time_ , you'd better have a plan!" The three then flew off to shelter under an overlarge plant.

Qahs'a shook his head and turned back towards where Tyr Beq was waiting. Sometimes, he really didn't understand the fae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I originally thought about this when gathering in Amh Araeng and realized that the people of Mord Souq were definitely not prepared for the new heat waves and sandstorms, but they would totally not complain about it because no sin eaters is much better


	22. #22: Argy-bargy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's SLICE of life ahaha i mean  
> quasi post 5.3

As the sounds of bickering washed over Qahs'a, he decided that, really, he didn't _need_ to be here right this second, so he quietly stood and slipped out of the Rising Stones.

Outside the night was cool, and the moonlight dimmed by clouds. Still, the clouds weren't all-encompassing, and he saw a few stars peeking through, so he climbed to the second level of Revenant's Toll for a better view. He had just settled in, though, when a voice asked, "Is this seat taken?" and Krile sat beside him without waiting for an answer.

"We saw you leave," she said, "and I wanted to make sure you're okay...?"

Qahs'a blinked at the 'we', and then leaned back to see G'raha standing a few fulms away, looking a bit awkward. Qahs'a gave him a wry smile, and waved him over before shrugging at Krile. He was never sure how much of her comments about her Echo were true, since she kept making jokes and being unclear, so for all he knew, she already knew how he was. He wasn't _not_ okay, he just... didn't want to be around the argument.

She gave him a knowing smile. "We could make a new rule. No arguing in the main room, Solar and Dawn's Respite only! It'd be a shame to ruin our reputations the next time an Alliance leader drops in for tea."

Qahs'a smiled at this mental image. He actually could see Aymeric just drop in for tea at random, but the idea of Raubahn just stopping by for tea, of all things, was much funnier. Still, he shook his head. He was mostly fine, he was probably just tired or something.

G'raha settled in beside Krile, and started cutting up an apple, which he offered to Qahs'a, who shook his head, and Krile, who accepted a slice. They sat like that quietly for a bit, the two Sharlayans quietly munching away, and Qahs'a peering up, trying to pick out the constellations he knew. Eventually G'raha asked what he was looking at, and Qahs'a ended up taking out his card deck to point at which constellation he was looking at, and then listening to the non-astrologian perspectives on the stars.

It was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who is arguing? who knows. I originally thought Alisaie and Alphinaud but then couldn't think of a reason, so it could be them, Thancred and Y'shtola, Aenor and Clemence...


	23. #23 Shuffle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write about job stones and deciding between them in a scenario but my brain rebelled so uh instead short ast fluff  
> Set after 5.3 again, this time with ast 80 spoilers

Now that everyone was home and fine, Qahs'a found himself idly wondering about other things, like if Urianger had ever met Leveva and Mace or if he'd learned the basics of astrology from another place. He also wanted to tell Urianger about Leveva 's awe at his accomplishments, since Qahs'a had mostly used red magic in the first and Urianger had actually accomplished what Leveva was amazed by, but, well, he was pretty sure he'd have to drag Urianger to Ishgard for that exchange to occur.

In some ways, he wished he _had_ been an astrologian more, since the Light affecting his white magic had unnerved him, and still hadn't warned him about what was happening to him at all. It had worked out, but... 

Perhaps sensing Qahs'a 's mood, Alisaie threw herself into the chair next to him. 

"I need to spar and you've got that look on your face like you're failing at solving all the world's problems," she announced. "Come on." 

Qahs'a blinked and waved a card at her, but she only rolled her eyes. 

"If you're telling fortunes, you _definitely_ need a distraction. Let's go." She grabbed his hand and bodily hauled him out of his seat. All Qahs'a could really do was sigh and slip his Soul of the Astrologian back into the pouch at his waist and feel for his Soul of the Red Mage. Although he would've preferred slightly less dragging, he didn't actually mind sparring with Alisaie. Maybe this time he could coax her to try Veraero II or the like.


	24. #24: Beam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ishgard i love you but there is no way in hell we're going to finish before 5.41 hits ugh i don't even want to know what stage tonberry is on anymore. disclaimer: this was SUPPOSED to feature alisaie and qahs'a working on framing, thus, beam, but it decided not to happen so the prompt is technically not there anymore???  
> spoilers for idk 5.3 and firmament again

Qahs'a was working on breaking up some rubble with some hyurs when a cough broke into his thoughts.

"My sister said I could find you here," Alphinaud said uncertainly, looking up at the claw marks scouring the above them.

Qahs'a winced. Although Alphinaud was not actually rebuking him, he probably deserved it, since of course Alphinaud would be invested in the rebuilding of Ishgard, just like him.

So instead, he took Alphinaud to see Maelie.

Maelie was perfectly happy to fill Alphinaud in on everything that had happened while he was on the First, while Qahs'a repaired toys and torn clothes for the other children, and when they were done chatting, Qahs'a took Alphinaud to see Augubert.

Although he doubted Alphinaud would ever swing a hammer for Ishgard, he was sure Augubert and Francel would be happy to find something for him to do to help.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk. very short. set post 5.3

"I think," Alisaie snapped, "that it's time for Qahs'a to come clean."

Qahs'a was thrown for a loop. He had _no idea_ what she could mean.

Alphinaud didn't even look up from his book. "What about?"

"You've never told us your birthday! How are we supposed to throw you a party?" she complained.

Oh. Qahs'a shrugged. It didn't really matter, and he wasn't really... sure. His family had never really cared, and the seasons didn't quite correspond between the Twelveswood and other parts of Eorzea.

Alisaie scowled at him. "Is that a you don't feel like telling me shrug or you don't know shrug, because I am going to have _words_ with you if it's the first one."

"I don't think threatening Qahs'a will get you the result you desire," Alphinaud said, turning his page.

Alisaie turned to her brother and Qahs'a took the opportunity to escape. Maybe she'd forget...


	26. #26: When Pigs Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a distinctly non canon story, both for, well, canon, and Qahs'a's personal canon.  
> spoilers for uh.... drk 35 and 40

"But you are no dark knight."

Qahs'a frowned but let Fray continue to babble, disagreeing more and more with every word. Remembering Fray's disdain for Isembard and Gundobald, and almost everyone they met. The way that several of the things Fray said were the antithesis of everything he was. That Fray kept trying to convince him that he hated all these people that needed his help, that they didn't deserve it.

So at the end of Fray's little speech, he shrugged a little, and nodded. He wasn't going to disagree. If Fray thought that helping everyone he could was slavery, well, then, a slave he would stay.

Fray paused. "What?" he said, confusion evident even through the all-encompassing armor.

Qahs'a held out the job crystal, and then, carefully, deliberately dropped it. He _wasn't_ a dark knight if what Fray was talking about was true.

Fray squawked and then seemed to evaporate into thin air. That.... was very strange and just cemented the fact that he wanted nothing to do with whatever Fray wanted.

Qahs'a walked away and never looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this is EXACTLY WHY I QUIT DRK i had to do in jpn to get to 50. and I woulda quit earlier if I'd read the journal at 35 instead of 40. the way the journal kept trying to tell me how my wol felt when I knew he definitely did not feel that way. fray constantly complaining about the smallfolk and then blaming me/qahs'a for listening to them. I refused to hand in 40, abandoned it so i could pretend isembard still liked me, and then went off and did the rest of the plot, regretting I'd picked up drk the entire time. I'm still mad at everyone trying to claim it had the best storyline when all it stokes in me is anger. jpn has MUCH different implications everywhere, although i gave up doing it at 54 because i uh don't actually understand japanese and my friend stopped translating at 45 :V haven't done 60 yet but i'm just really tired of sidurgu's crud too. let me kidnap rielle away to a nice farm in la noscea and we just hide from the constant revenge stories
> 
> um but actually qahs'a probably picks up drk in shb but i'd have to rewrite the entire plot or this would've happened. qahs'a's problems have never been about feeling exploited, after all


	27. #28: Irenic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was so tired i skipped the rest day :V so sue me. i had an idea but it wandered off within ten minutes of me thinking of it and it hasn't come back so what can you do.   
> this one uhhhh kind of couldn't stay on track and is definitely missing many many things and feelings and being sad about scions but it's six in the morning and i haven't slept yet  
> set during um... 4.5

It's probably hypocritical of Qahs'a, but, in some ways, he's glad the negotiations failed.

This thought makes him feel bad, in general, especially since he really doesn't need to be thinking about it _right now_ , in the _middle of battle_. He ducks under a swing and casts Verfire as the clash of steel on steel rings out nearby. Hien is pushing back some Garleans, and Alisaie is casting to support him.

And, if Varis had been even a little bit more reasonable, more willing to _listen_ than _lecture_ , they might not have needed to be here at all.

Varis had been interested in ending the Ascian threat, but, for some reason, no one had brought up that... they'd already been somewhat successful on that front. Lahabrea and Igeoryhm were dead, albeit, not through Qahs'a's hand _directly_ , but they were still dead. Nabriales too, had fallen, and that one _was_ Qahs'a's fault. 

Maybe no one thought that their assertions would be believable. Maybe they thought Varis would only believe it if Qahs'a had said it, and, of course, he never would. Maybe...

Not that it mattered now. 

As Qahs'a slashed and cast and leapt, he tried not to put the negotiations out of his mind, and concentrate on his defenses, but he just... couldn't stop. But why...

Oh.

He was almost happy the negotiations had failed because it had ended up with him here, fighting again. Just like Zenos had suggested.

He flinched and backed off of his attack, just in time for Alisaie to cut his opponent down herself. It still sickened him, that Zenos would see _anything_ in him, but here they were, and Qahs'a was.... well, almost comfortable here.

He wasn't _happy_ , but... he didn't know what he'd be doing if he _wasn't_ here, fighting for freedom. If Varis _had_ agreed to peace, what would he have done? Sat at Alphinaud's bedside and fretted until someone gave him a new foe to fight? ...probably.

His true problem wasn't that he loved the fight, but that he wasn't sure he had a place in the world that wasn't defined by the sword.


	28. #29: Paternal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we would hit SOMETHING that would mean I'd have to worldbuild. so uhhh keeper headcanons skewed by qahs'a's pov therein  
> spoilers like all of hw and minor spoilers for sahagin. warning for past implied familial emotional abuse

Qahs'a has had to deal with a lot of culture clash since leaving home, ranging from the slightly petty--the rest of Eorzea worshipped Menphina as a symbol of _romantic_ love? Qahs'a grasp of the entire concept was already lacking--to the nearly unfathomable.

Keepers do not really have a role for fathers.

Qahs'a had, uncomfortably, managed to reason out that Novv and his children were just... a disorientingly gender-flipped version of the families he knew, but past that he got confused. The very concept of bastards, as in Ishgard, was utterly baffling. Qahs'a's lineage was defined by his mother, and her mother before her, and on and on for countless generations. He didn't even know the _name_ of his sire. 

But Haurchefant had only mentioned his own mother once or twice, and acted like her lineage did not bear on his own, and certainly had never mentioned her name. Aymeric had only been interested in Thordan, had never expressed interest in his mother, and it just continued _everywhere_ in the city. Perhaps the elezen of Ishgard _had_ to allow their males to inherit? The only girl he'd met in any of the High Houses was Laniaitte. It still hurt his head to think about though.

And Edmont...

Edmont had taken him and Alphinaud in, and showed them more care and affection than Qahs'a had seen in his whole life, and...

Qahs'a wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't sure if he should respond in some fashion, or if there were expectations of him, or even how to _accept_ it. But Edmont never seemed to mind, and so Qahs'a had to assume that whatever he was doing was fine, and hope for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun facts: according to gamerescape, ignoring mystels, there are five named male keeper npcs in the game (gota'a panipahr, kehda'to moui, ziuz'a jakkya, zhai'a nelhah, and nhaza'a jaab), two who have labels but not names (the idle imperial in azys lla and the steadfast companion in wanderer hard), a couple of seasonal npcs, and one seeker using a keeper model (a'aba tia). in addition there's one fate boy keeper (the coeurlclaw king in a south shroud fate) and possibly some unlabelled ones, and that's it for male keepers. so your wol might never have seen one


	29. #30: Splinter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a conversation about this prompt and it went a bit like this: "ugh i need to write my last prompt but idk what to write" "esteem" "look I'm going to write about either esteem or ardbert and we both know which I'd prefer" "show him your wind-up ardbert" and my brain screeched to a halt. this fic is not about that tho. this fic is not about anything i wanted it to be. I WANTED it to be about hades, but apparently qahs'a doesn't want to think about hades at all  
> spoilers for uh 5.0 and 5.3

Once everyone is settled back in, and Kururu assures him that now all anyone needed was rest and a few days of healing magics to soothe away any lingering damage from the Scions slumber, Qahs'a slips away. He needs time to think. 

That thinking led him to his new seat at the top of a spire in the shade of Amaurot, looking at nothing and turning the Azem crystal in his hands, over and over. 

He... probably shouldn't be on the First. Garlemald was still an unknown, and being so drastically out of reach was definitely not being responsible, but... 

Well, he'd probably ended up in Amaurot for a reason.

His thoughts tumbled over each other, the stone in his hands mirroring his mental state. Turning Azem over and over again, not sure whether it fit or not.

He found himself thinking about Hades. Emet-Selch. He wasn't sure which was better. 

He'd been trusted with the name, but at the same time, he'd found it a little... Alienating. Because he wasn't sure that Hades had entrusted _Qahs'a_ with his name, but had instead been returning it to the Azem he'd remembered from eons ago. 

At least Hythlodaeus had made it clear he understood that Qahs'a was not the same. 

Qahs'a sighs and leans back to look up at the murky water far above rather than continue to manhandle the stone.

The weight of people's expectations seems to weigh him down. Azem, the Warrior of Light, Dragon Slayer, God Killer... Sometimes he wondered who was left under all the titles.

No, he knew every time he ran into a culture clash, and he was left baffled and uncertain, and no one bothered to explain. He was still just a confused Keeper under it all, dragged along and not always keeping up, but his understanding had never been important. 

No, in that way Amaurot had been unusual in that it had been explained to him, rather than taken for granted that he already knew.

He sighs and stares at the stone again. Part of him still wants to throw it far, far away. Part of him never wants to let it go. He can almost hear Hades' voice still, although he wasn't trying to call upon the stone's power. 

He's not sure if he'll ever know what to do with it. How much does he want to mold himself into the image of a being dead for thousands of years? Just like he and Ardbert are not the same person, he and Azem are not, and he's not sure if the stone knows the difference. Could it rewrite him? He doesn't know. 

He's so tired of not knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it! I'll give myself a couple of days to decide if I'm going to write a 30th drabble for that one rest day I missed before I tag it as completed


End file.
